You do not wish to raise a child – or another child – but abortion is not an option for you? One alternative may be to place the child for adoption after birth. In cases of particular hardship, a confidential birth is available. Pregnancy counselling can support you on this path as well.
Placing a Child for Adoption
Perhaps it feels unthinkable to raise this child in your personal situation – because you already have children, because you do not want children, or because you are in a difficult period of your life. The decision to place a child for adoption is a responsible and often difficult one. You can seek counselling at our pregnancy counselling centres or at an adoption agency.
How the Adoption Process Works
If you wish to place your child for adoption, contact an adoption agency. You will generally be able to discuss whether you have preferences regarding the choice of adoptive parents, whether you would like to meet them, and whether you would like to receive photos and updates about your child later on.
The adoption agency will ensure that your child will immediately be transferred to the adoptive family or a foster family after birth. Eight weeks after the birth, you can formally declare your consent to adoption. As a rule, both parents must agree. The decision cannot be reversed. Once the adoption process is complete, the adoptive parents are legally the child’s parents.
From the age of 16, your child has the right to receive information about their origins from the Youth Welfare Office – typically the names and dates of birth of the biological parents, as well as the address at the time of the adoption.
“I was already raising a daughter alone and knew I could not manage to care for another child. Both of them would have missed out. I am sometimes sad about it. But adoption was the best path – for all of us.”
Confidential Birth (Vertrauliche Geburt)
A confidential birth is a support option for pregnant people in crisis. If you need to keep your pregnancy secret for personal or family reasons, you can still give birth with full medical support in a safe environment. The child will subsequently be raised by adoptive parents.
To arrange a confidential birth, you must (!) contact a counselling centre before the birth.
Helpline for pregnant people in crisis
0800 40 40 020
Available around the clock, free of charge, anonymous, in multiple languages.
How a Confidential Birth Works
To arrange a confidential birth, you first speak with a counsellor. The counsellor will take down your personal details on one occasion – these are then stored securely so that your child can later find out something about their origins. No one else will learn your real name. The counsellor is bound by professional confidentiality and may not pass your information on to anyone – not to your parents, not to the Youth Welfare Office, not to your husband. You can give birth in a hospital, a birth centre or at home with the support of a midwife. You do not pay anything for counselling, medical care or the birth itself. You may also use a hospital in another city. After the birth, your child will be placed for adoption and grow up with another family.
When your child turns 16, they are entitled to find out your name and address at the time of the confidential birth. In exceptional circumstances, you may remain anonymous even after your child turns 16.
In the first months following a confidential birth, you can still decide to raise your child yourself. If you are considering this, please feel free to contact us for counselling.
Irresponsible Parents? – A Responsible Decision
Some people assume that only bad parents place a child for adoption. That is not our experience. We see that this decision is a difficult one, and that it is almost always made out of love for the child – for example because parents assess their own capabilities honestly and want their child to have a good upbringing. Are you uncertain about what is best for you and your child? Use our counselling to organise your thoughts and reach a decision.
Still have questions?
We are happy to advise you in person. Anonymous and free of charge. Respectful and empowering.